I thought I knew what I was doing, you know? I was being kind, I was being understanding and letting him explore. We broke up once because he wanted to be young and explore. I tried to understand that he was socially held back and that altered his dating life. But it all backfired on me.
Do I believe in AS anymore? Yes, but I will not continue to allow it to be used as an excuse for disrespectful and dishonest behavior. He was an intelligent adult who knew right from wrong. On one hand, an Aspie doesn't want to to be treated like they are different but at the same, they want to be treated like they are different! I'm tired. I've thrown in the towel.
I never wanted to be the girl that gave up on a challenging relationship. Maybe some day, he will find someone who will accept and understand this behavior. But I want to be with someone who thinks that I am enough, flaws and all. Who tells me they are proud of my achievements, instead of comparing them to their own. Why should I be made to feel bad for where I am in my life? How is that fair??
I accepted him, his issues, his AS and in turn I felt like I was kicked, stepped on and told to "relax" about the entire situation. I think what bothers me the most is that, I watched him get so far. From the first day I met him, until now, I think my family and I were nothing but good to him. We brought him out his shell and into a comfort zone and love and acceptance. I'm not saying we were the only reason for his growth, but he spent a lot of time with us. And now, someone else will get to enjoy the person that he will become in the coming years.
That to me is the most aggravating thing. I do not want to let one person ruin my outlook on other relationships, but its easier said then done. I have little respect for men right now and see no reason why I should be cordial or kind to any of them. If it wasn't for my faith, I think I'd have done something hurtful and irrational to him. I'm not even kidding.
I feel like I have my life back though. I no longer have to babysit and coddle him anymore. He's going to have to learn how to praise himself.
