NT GF no longer in love.

I thought I knew what I was doing, you know? I was being kind, I was being understanding and letting him explore. We broke up once because he wanted to be young and explore. I tried to understand that he was socially held back and that altered his dating life. But it all backfired on me.
Do I believe in AS anymore? Yes, but I will not continue to allow it to be used as an excuse for disrespectful and dishonest behavior. He was an intelligent adult who knew right from wrong. On one hand, an Aspie doesn't want to to be treated like they are different but at the same, they want to be treated like they are different! I'm tired. I've thrown in the towel.

I never wanted to be the girl that gave up on a challenging relationship. Maybe some day, he will find someone who will accept and understand this behavior. But I want to be with someone who thinks that I am enough, flaws and all. Who tells me they are proud of my achievements, instead of comparing them to their own. Why should I be made to feel bad for where I am in my life? How is that fair??

I accepted him, his issues, his AS and in turn I felt like I was kicked, stepped on and told to "relax" about the entire situation. I think what bothers me the most is that, I watched him get so far. From the first day I met him, until now, I think my family and I were nothing but good to him. We brought him out his shell and into a comfort zone and love and acceptance. I'm not saying we were the only reason for his growth, but he spent a lot of time with us. And now, someone else will get to enjoy the person that he will become in the coming years.

That to me is the most aggravating thing. I do not want to let one person ruin my outlook on other relationships, but its easier said then done. I have little respect for men right now and see no reason why I should be cordial or kind to any of them. If it wasn't for my faith, I think I'd have done something hurtful and irrational to him. I'm not even kidding.

I feel like I have my life back though. I no longer have to babysit and coddle him anymore. He's going to have to learn how to praise himself.

Who made you "King" of anything?

I am a total bitch.

I know. I'm naggy and bratty and controlling at times. And I try to work on it; I appreciate that my dear love can put me in my place and tell me to "shut the fuck up" sometimes. But I am also loving and understanding and patient and caring. I wish he saw that. Sometimes, I don't know if he does.

Not everyone is strong enough to be in a relationship with an Aspie. I will admit (and so has he) that it can be very challenging. I sometimes don't feel like I have received any "credit" for it though. I don't need it, but it would be nice to hear a "thank you for being patient with me" once in a while. I feel useless. Like...useless to myself because I spend so much time trying to not say that wrong things. I don't ever want to make him feel the way teachers and classmates made him feel when he was a child. Retarded. Slow. Stupid. Weird. God knows he is NONE of those things.  He is brilliant and handsome and warm and brave. I love his spirit and the way his eyes light up when he laughs. But sometimes I don't feel like I am enough. Am I enough? or am I TOO much? Would it be better if if was with someone more similar to him? Someone who "gets it."

I don't know. Maybe I should go to sleep and think about it all in the morning. I'm just having a hard time coping. I have no idea what its like to be an Aspie but being apart of it all is just as hard. Seeing someone you love go through something and not being able to help them is the most painful thing.

Social Confidence for Aspies - through infidelity?

PUA?

LTR?

Can anyone tell me what some of these terms mean? Well, it took me a few years to catch on but I finally got it. Sometime last Spring, I noticed that my AS boyfriend's e-mail was open. I leaned forward to take a glance and saw words like "Dating Tips" and "Seduction 101." I was hurt, but I didn't question it or him. At the time, we were in a mending stage in our relationship and I just didn't want to rock the boat.

Fast forward to present day. He still gets those emails. Now, don't get confused, I am not one of those women who snoop and inspect. My motto has always been "If you're looking, you WILL find something that you will not like." But this has sparked my attention a bit more. Why is my boyfriend looking up PUA (better known as Pick-up Artist) tips?? Apparently this LTR (long-term relationship) is not quite enough for him. [Note: These are all Pick-Up Artist terms I found on their websites).

I cried over it a little bit because any person would be hurt if they found their significant other was looking online for tips on meeting, dating and sexing other people.

Upon further research I found that this was a crazy, world wide workshop!!! I also found out another fact: Over 75% of the men posting in forums and following lunatics like Tyler Durden and whoever the hell else is teaching men how to be cheaters/liars/scoundrels are ASPIES!
www.PUATraining.com states:

99.9% of men are not like you. They will be the men that sleep with the average of 6 women in their life. They will be the 78% of people that are unsatisfied with their love lives. They think they need to work harder and make more money and the women will come later. Why later and not right NOW? 

The website goes on to persuade men to purchase a "boot camp" session to learn how to "game" women and gain social confidence that they have never had a chance to access.

You are different, you have made the first step to abundance and choice. You will stand out, and you will reap the benefits while they stay frustrated.

Don't freak out yet girls. There are some guys on these forums and sites claiming to already have girlfriends and think that this "training" will give them more confidence, power and control in the relationship.

'I personally don't buy it. I know that dating is hard for everyone, and even harder for a man with AS who is nothing but socially awkward but if you're already in a loving, satisfying relationship/friendship, WHY do you need attention from other women? What the hell is up with that?!?!

I need help, I'm not sure what to do here... He's great to me and we're best friends. Do I leave? Do I ask him about it?

Are any other NT girls with AS spouses going through something similar?

HELP!

I'm an attention whore. No really, I am. This poor poor guy has to deal with his own awkward, social issues, school, family and ME on top of it all? *Sigh* So sometimes, I feel bad and give him a break.

Unfortunately, when you're dating an Aspie there are times when they do not even seem to notice. Its like, hello do you not see how nice I've been to you lately? How I've been trying not to bombard you with information and just be calm and understanding? Its like no matter what you as the NT does, your AS sometimes just doesn't seem notice the difference.

I wonder if other NT spouses ever feel this way...

Our Story

Our story is a lovely one, in my opinion. We started off as friends, acquaintances even and for years all we did was communicate in the only form any broke, sheltered teenager could: the Internet. I was never the type to go hang out with friends at their homes, mainly because I wasn't allowed to so, my only connection to the outside world was the "world wide web." When we finally got together some years later in person (more freedom, more time, more money) it was like I couldn't bear to be around anyone else. People say that opposites attract, but I never realized how much truth is in that statement.

Its funny, really, when we talk about it. He is this quiet, laid back individual with patience and a calm energy, I'm this loud, hyper, impatient little thing. How we got together? Only the gods and goddesses know really.

Well, that's not the point. The point is, I am in love with him. And over the years, as I've watched him grow from a boy to a man, my love has grown alongside this seeping frustration. You see, we have our suspicions that he is an "Aspie."

Is it a bad thing? Hell no. Will it make me run in the other direction? Absolutely not. Am I growing weary of sharing my relationship with "it" though? HELL yes.

I started this blog tonight, in the wee hours of the morning because we had a fight. Again. About him not seeming to want to talk to me. I talk. A LOT and yes, he talks to me a lot as well, but sometimes I wish he could just...know when I needed to talk talk without me having to say "Hon, I want to talk. I had a rough day." That's when I start to hate "it", Its like I'm in a polyamorous relationship! Its him, me and AS. We're a threesome. I figured since I can't force him to talk and I can't continue to yell at him when he doesn't pick up on my tone of voice or urgency to chat over the phone so I will write. This is the only way I will be able to let my feelings some out, otherwise, we may never last.

On one hand, I'm afraid he'll see this on the history of my computer and flip on me, thinking I'm trying to treat him like he's some invalid. Its not that AT ALL, I just, need a place to release my feelings and thoughts about everything.